18 Things I Love About My Daughter

My daughter turns 18 this weekend, and so today's post is about her. She's a modest kid, but since this is my space, where I get to write what I want, I'm indulging myself. Look away if you wish -- bragging moms don't always tell the best stories -- but I couldn't resist the opportunity to celebrate my favorite young woman.

So, here (in no particular order) are 18 things I love about my daughter. No elaborations -- just the list -- because just the list is probably more than she'd want me to post anyway.

It's been a long time since
I was taller than she is.
(Photo: willowtree.com)

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1. She's got a great sense of humor.
2. She's quick with a comeback.
3. She's smart.
4. She's beautiful.
5. She's athletic.
6. She works hard for the things that matter to her.
7. She's true to herself.
8. She practices her faith.
9. Little kids love her.
10. She's conscientious.
11. She can be trusted.
12. She's a loyal friend.
13. She's a kind-hearted grandchild.
14. She lets me into her world.
15. She's musical.
16. She likes Billy Joel almost as much as I do.
17. She gives great hugs.
18. She has the courage of her convictions.

Happy Birthday, Leah. I'm proud to be your mom.

Coloring Outside the Lines

One of the best things about teaching young adult learners is that I learn a lot in the process. Between the books we read and the supplemental information I seek out in order to teach classes, I get an education in the process of giving them one. 

Often, especially in my freshman seminar, our discussions are illuminating as well. I think the shift away from the pressure of content-driven instruction capped off by an exam has something to do with it. We read books (most of us, anyway) outside of class so that in class, we can link concepts to research and other ideas, including their own opinions. A particularly enlightening discussion earlier in the semester, for example, led to the idea for an article I had published in Faculty Focus last week. 

Tomorrow we are coloring -- not for the whole class period, but for a portion of it -- as a means of exploring the balance between work and play discussed in our current chapter of The Happiness Project and a lead-in to a homework assignment on scholarly and credible sources surrounding the current coloring craze sweeping up many adults. I'm excited about this activity, as I have been about so many others this semester, and I can't wait to see what they do with it.

While there's certainly a science to teaching, and many important foundational skills that need to be taught in a freshman seminar (or any class, for that matter), it's the art of teaching that draws so many to the profession and keeps them there. I wasn't as brave as many of my colleagues teaching at the elementary school level; when things began to look bleak, I saw an open door and dashed through it, rather than staying where I was and pushing through. The decision was good for me on so many levels, yet I still second guess it sometimes because, on a practical level, the logic has plenty of holes in it. 

Especially when you consider the fact that I didn't get far, leaving one position in education for another -- one with less security than the one I left, and with a steep learning curve to boot. And I never thought I'd be breaking out the crayons again.

But when I think about it, I can't imagine any better metaphor for the not-quite-retired parenting/writing/teaching life I'm currently leading -- one where I'm working harder than ever, but having fun in the process. 

And if I can pass along a bit of the enthusiasm I have for living life outside the lines, perhaps my crazy exit plan makes sense after all. 

Saturday Special: Too Many Books, Too Little Space

Karen Arnold via freepik.com

I've loved reading since Dick and Jane ran with Spot. I don't remember my book collection overtaking my space when I was a kid, but then again, when I was in middle school, we moved to a house with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, giving me plenty of space for my Nancy Drew collection -- and then some.

In my lifetime, I've worked in three different bookstores, and I trace the origins of my "too many books, too little space" conundrum back to those jobs, which fed my inner book collector -- sometimes at the expense of my bank account.

Our house is a Cape Cod, so when I wanted to find resources about organizing books, I was excited to find posts on the Apartment Therapy site, where they specialize in fun ideas for small spaces. And, in a decision that matches my bookstore behavior, I couldn't decide, so I'm posting both.

The first is an article (with great pictures) that explores various ways to organize books, depending on your style (I had to grab that one!); the second, geared to a weekend project approach has videos. Both provide ideas and maybe even a little motivation for taking control of book overrun.

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While I'll be contributing to book overrun this weekend as I put the finishing touches on my novel, I'm looking forward to putting some of those ideas to work this winter, when I have more time to tackle my list of organizing to-dos.

Happy organizing! And, if you manage to make it through the process without getting sucked into a book you forgot you had, you're stronger than I am.

Friday (evening) Freebie: Shawn Achor on Happiness

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Right now, my freshmen are reading Gretchen Rubin's book, The Happiness Project, all the while cooking up happiness projects of their own. To supplement this unit, I've been reading a lot on the subject, and one of my favorite resources is Shawn Achor. Even my freshmen found his TED Talk funny; maybe because he has a way of sharing research in a way that sounds more stand-up than science-y.

So, when I find blogs like this one, where he talks about concrete ways to improve our levels of happiness, I just have to share. I mean, easy ways to get happy that don't involve illegal substances? Who can resist?

I hope your weekend is filled with happiness.

3 Reasons I'm Self-Publishing My Next Book (Some Stolen from Scott Berkun)

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In January 2014, Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas published my first novel, Casting the First Stone. Getting my book from manuscript into print remains one of the most exciting things that has ever happened to me. I'd done this before, with books in the education market, but those books were intended for others like me -- school counselors and educators looking for ideas to use at work. Casting the First Stone is a novel -- something I never thought I'd write, let alone get published.

I had no intention of writing any more about these characters, but readers had a different idea. In the next few weeks (I'm aiming for mid-month), Chasing a Second Chance, the continuation of their story, will debut.

This time, I'm doing it myself -- with a little help from my friends.

As I said, getting my book from manuscript into print remains one of the most exciting things that has ever happened to me. And, I learned a lot in the process -- enough that I wanted to try my hand at it. Here are a few reasons why.

1. "I expect to write books for a living for the rest of my life. The ore I know about every part of the process, the greater my odds of success." I found that quote in a blog post on Scott Berkun's website, and it resonated with me. He goes on to say, "Even if I never self-publish again, I�ll never look at a book the same way.  I love books. I want to look at them with great understanding of what�s involved in their creation.
         

Yes. What he said.

2. I'm lucky enough to know people willing to help me. The two most common pieces of advice I've read when it comes to self-publishing are to get the book professionally edited and to invest in a professionally designed cover. If I didn't have well-qualified assists in both of those areas, I don't know if I'd have had the nerve to do it. And, an extra added bonus was that both of these wonderful ladies are friends/family, so they've been known to provide some encouragement along the way as well.

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3. I like the idea of being a "hybrid" author. I haven't given up on traditional publishing. In fact, I'm hoping that's exactly where my next novel will land. And, if and when it does, I'll be well-informed, with information from both sides of the table. That said, to borrow from Scott Berkun again, some of what I write might not fit the traditional market. I might not get representation from an agent or a nibble from editor, but I don't necessarily want that to stop me from moving forward. By testing this process with a book that has invested readers already, I'll have a better idea of whether or not that niche book should make it out of the drawer and into public consumption. 

So, if you were wondering why this post was so late...see items 1 through 3 above. :-)

When Angel Met Jim

In the process of editing a book, things get cut. Most of the time, the cuts make the writing tighter and the story stronger.

One of the things that frequently gets cut is backstory. And, although this is usually a good thing, sometimes it's hard for a writer to let go of the backstory she worked so hard to create.

Many readers of Casting the First Stone have voiced their dislike of Angel's husband, Jim, some have even asked how a sweet girl like Angel ended up with someone like Jim.

As I prepare to release Chasing a Second Chance, I can't tell you that you'll like him any better (you probably won't), but I'd like to share a deleted scene: the night Jim and Angel met.

Angel Spencer had met Jim Alessio at a church social -- the only one she'd ever been able to drag her friend Gina to. Gina had told her over and over again to go up to him, start a conversation, ask him to dance, but even from a distance, Jim had a charm and self-confidence that unnerved Angel. He knew he was handsome -- that was obvious from the way he carried himself -- but that didn�t keep the ladies away. At least not the ones with self-confidence.

Church event or not, Gina quickly went on the prowl, but Angel busied herself filling the refreshment table, keeping cups stocked, making sure the wastebaskets were strategically placed so that clean-up at the end of the evening would be easier. She had just returned from the kitchen with a tray of cookies and was placing it on the table when a male voice made her jump.

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�Did you make those?� he asked.

�No,� Angel said, fussing with the napkins before looking up at Jim, who stood nearly a foot taller than she. �They were donated by Carlini�s Bakery.�

�Are they any good?�


�I don�t know,� Angel said. �Would you like to try one?�

Even at that moment, Angel knew their conversation was hardly the stuff of romance novels, but she didn�t care. There were plenty of women swarming around him -- most more polished and sophisticated than she was -- and yet this handsome, charming man had started a conversation with her. It was all she could do to string logical sentences together, so a conversation about cookies was a relief.  

�Are you serving the refreshments, too, or would you like to dance?�

�No. I mean, yes, I�d love to dance,� Angel said.

Jim took her hand and led her onto the dance floor. �I�m Jim, by the way.�

�Angel. Are you active with the men's group? I mean, is that why you�re here?�

�Part of the reason,� Jim said. �How about you? What brings you here this evening?�

Angel smiled. �I volunteered to help with refreshments,� she said. �Actually, you gentlemen secured all the food. All we ladies had to do was set it out.�

�Well, you�ve done a lovely job.�

�Thank you.�

They danced in silence to the out of tune jazz band's rendition of �Someone to Watch Over Me,� and Angel tried not to be nervous about her sudden inability to make witty -- or even intelligent -- conversation. Jim didn�t seem to mind. He drew her closer as the song went on, but when it was over, he thanked her for the dance and put himself back in circulation.

�So?� Gina said, coming up to Angel seconds after the next song started.

Angel shrugged. �I don�t know. We had a nice conversation, and the dance was nice �-�

Gina rolled her eyes. �What a ringing endorsement. Should I even tell you what I found out?�

Angel sighed. �Do I want to know?�

�Of course you do. His name is Jim Alessio. He runs a restaurant supply company, which isn�t surprising, since his parents own Alessio�s Pizza on North Main.�

�How did you -- �

Gina raised one shoulder in a half-shrug and smirked. �Look, I�m usually the one doing the drooling �-�

�I was not drooling!�

"Um, yeah, you were. I�m a cynic, but you�re so completely trusting I wanted to make sure you weren�t getting in over your head. Seems like the coast is clear, though. Nobody I talked to knew anything about any divorces or pending annulments. Seems your Jim is free and clear �- no ties whatsoever.� 

Stay tuned for news on Chasing a Second Chance, due out later this month.

Saturday Special: Making Work Less Work

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Whether you work from home or out of the home, it's easier to be efficient when you're organized. Or, so I hear. Right now, I'm in the middle of numerous projects, and if things go on this way much longer....let's just say I'm looking forward to having time to implement these tips from Rice University.

Admittedly, some of them are a little Type A, but many of them are good, especially if you can find a way to style-ize them.

Personally, I'm in favor of anything that makes work easier.

Enjoy your weekend.