Overwhelmed by the Real World

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A week ago, I came home from the Pennwriters Conference with new ideas and new determination. Monday was great; I went on a blog binge, got caught up on posts I owed and even got ahead of schedule, writing posts for later in the week. We'd cleared the prom hurdle, so there were no more dresses to buy, accessories to shop for or boutonnieres to order.

Tuesday, I dug into the graduation announcements that needed to be addressed and mailed, thinking I'd get a sprint in afterward. Said sprint never materialized, and suddenly, it was time to clear the graduation hurdle itself. By Friday, the day I usually begin to rally, my daughter was packing for senior week and heading on her first long-distance trip without adult supervision. Friday afternoon, all I could do was crash.

Emotionally, I'm fine, and no, I'm not in denial. Daughter has duly graduated and arrived at her intended destination. The house is quiet and my husband is working on his own projects, and yet I have had to exile myself to Starbucks to get this blog written. The graduation party, the next hurdle to clear, is this weekend, and although things are well in hand, new ideas and to-do list items follow me around, pecking at me like a flock of haphazard hens. Saturday's sprint, which I thought was the turning point, is merely a memory and structured procrastination reigns supreme.

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I have got to get a grip.

No matter how often they happen -- and how frequently they regulate themselves with little intervention from me -- these temporary setbacks freak me out. If it's a blog-posting day and I haven't posted by a certain time, I become physically incapable of sitting still and a sense of agitation overtakes me. If too many days go by without a sprint or at least sufficient progress on a project, dread looms in the back of my mind. Writing is the only antidote.

This love-hate relationship with the written word is not unique to me; in fact, I know few writers who are not afflicted with it. It's what drives us forward, sends fingers flying across the keyboard, or a pen scritching across paper, desperately seeking solace from the fear of the story lying idle, or the page remaining blank. Proms, graduations, parties, milestones -- all are celebrated and enjoyed within the time frame allotted for them. Transitions into them and out of them are given short shrift, however; we cut ourselves little slack, not counting time as regular people do, or acknowledging that these milestones may need a wider berth in order to account for their impact on our creative energies. Like actors or dancers or vocalists, our minds and bodies are tools of the trade, and it's easy to resent the toll the real world can take on them.

But now I am at Starbucks at my laptop -- in my happy place, where distractions are minimized and writing progress is compromised only by the mental distractions from which I cannot escape. That's okay, though. Soon, I'll be in the world of my characters, and, if I'm lucky, they'll pull me under so deep that only ideas can flood my mind, and, when I surface, I'll be ready to rejoin the real world, satisfied that my work here is done.

For today.

Friday Feature: Cozy Balconies

Morguefile

When we go to the beach, one of my favorite places is the screened-in porch just off the living room (or, sometimes, depending on the unit, the dining room) of the condo we stay in. Aside from central air conditioning, it's the only requirement I have when we book our accommodations. The condo has an open air balcony as well, but I rarely use that.

These balconies, however? These I could get comfy on.

Then again, I think that's the idea behind a cozy balcony.

Sprint Plus One

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For two years now, I've been trying to sprint with Ramona each day. It's been a fabulous addition to my writing life, with the unexpected benefit of nurturing connections with other writers who are doing the same, and the very much anticipated benefit of squeezing more writing into a full schedule.

My sprints aren't as dedicated as Ramona's -- I'm not a morning person, so the early birds who sprint at 7AM have finished their sprints before I've even started mine. But, I check in late, after I've finished my hour, happy to be part of the group, and motivated by the thread that I know is there even if I haven't yet arrived.

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In addition, I'm more loyal in the summer. During the school year, sprints sometimes get edged out by class planning and teaching, both of which require a portion of the same creative energy that I give to my writing. I'm working on finding my balance, but some days the sprints win and other days, it's the classroom stuff.

After spending the weekend at Pennwriters and being reminded that other writers clock their progress, so to speak, in terms of words, not time, I decided that maybe I needed to update my plan. I love my sprints and the sprint crew, so I'm not ready to jump ship.

Still, there are days that I write, but don't "count" my writing as a sprint because of the way I've defined the sprint itself. Blogs, for example, have never been a part of my sprint time, despite the fact that they make up a substantial chunk of my writing time.

After some deliberation, I've decided to combine my sprints with my previous word count system. I used to keep track of words written each day, but once I started sprinting, word counts fell by the wayside. Over at Organizing by STYLE, I'm constantly talking about celebrating small steps and tracking progress, no matter how small, yet, here at home, I was completely dismissing progress that occurred on an almost daily basis. Silly at best and self-defeating at worst, it constituted a flaw in my plan.

So, as so often happens after Pennwriters weekend, I have a new plan. Sprint? Absolutely. Word count? Yep, that too. After all, when a person writes five blogs a week, she ought to "count" them, right?

It's about time to practice what I preach.

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Go Forth

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After a busy weekend with one foot in the Pennwriters conference and one foot at home (a brief return for photo opps and prom send-off), I feel a bit jumbled this morning. Last week was the hectic lead-up to prom and this week, starting off with deceptive calm, is graduation week. It feels like the start of summer vacation, but important commitments (a final for my daughter, a podcast for me and the impending emotional ceremony on Thursday) say otherwise. Voices from Pennwriters echo in my head, sharing everything from wisdom to criticism to the joyful friendships born of common ground. I want to write about them, but, so far, lack the focus to do so, consumed as I am by all that lies ahead of me this week.

Lying in bed this morning, trying to sort through it all, I opened my email -- delaying the start of the day a bit further -- and found a surprising inspiration in the Morning Offering I subscribe to:

"Go forth and set the world on fire." (St. Ignatius of Loyola)

While I'm certain that St. Ignatius meant it in a spiritual sense, the quote gave me a sense of clarity (not to mention the impetus to actually get out of bed and go forth).

Each of us sets the world on fire in his or her own way. Some days, it's a tiny spark, other days a raging blaze, and occasionally, it's wet matches, but each of us possesses the ability to go forth and set the world ablaze with whatever passion and talent we possess. And on those "wet matches" days, it's important to keep in mind that blazes of glory might still lie ahead, even if we can't even imagine them, let alone see them. And some days, our small sparks are fire starters for the ones we love.

Whatever it means to the rest of us, St. Ignatius's quote is a pretty good way to kick off graduation week. Wishing you a week full of happy sparks.

Friday Feature: So, Busy is Good?

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 I'm retired. Sort of. I joke that I retired, but it didn't take, and my friends shake their heads and laughingly comment that I'm busier now than I was when I worked full time.

Officially worked full time, that is. Now, teaching part time, writing part time, publicizing my books and doing the wife/mom thing, I probably work even more hours than I did then. Although I definitely could stand to improve the work/life balance some days, I'm not complaining. I'm busy doing things I love doing.

As it turns out, being busy might just be a good thing, especially for people my age. Whether it's the myriad learning opportunities, the constant exposure to a variety of new ideas or something else entirely, a Texas study shows a positive correlation between busyness and cognitive functioning for people in their fifties -- at least the people in their fifties who participated in the study.

Most days, this person in her fifties feels more busy than smart, but thanks to that study, I like my odds.

Mom Time

Photo: Pixabay

This weekend, I am attempting to have my cake and eat it, too. It's the annual Pennwriters Conference, which I love, but for which I am woefully unprepared. Sure, I've been mentally planning this trip for weeks, but as far as the actual, physical planning? Not so much.

See, this year, the conference coincides with my daughter's last week of high school ever. I thought I'd have a lovely buffer zone between the end of my semester last week and the conference, which starts Friday, but that has not been how things have worked out.

Monday night was the Academic Awards Ceremony, an event so perfume-laden that it rendered me hacking and sofa-bound for a substantial portion of the afternoon yesterday (thanks so much to all who bathed in their fragrance of choice). This put me behind in my preparation for tonight's critique group meeting, not to mention today's blogs, and before I knew it, one day's list was morphing into the next day's and the leftovers were taking over the schedule.

And the schedule itself was a challenge to begin with. The plan was to spend Friday at the conference, drive home Saturday afternoon to be here in time for prom pictures, drive back Saturday night and finish out the conference on Sunday.

Still the plan. Except, as I mentioned before, the leftovers are chasing me. Graduation announcements. Clothing for said ceremony and for the beach trip that follows. Party prep.

It will all get done. Little by little, step by step and in spite of the best-laid plans. It always does, which is why, by this time tomorrow, I will have switched gears. It'll be later than I'd hoped, but it will happen.

I'm going to Pennwriters.

And when I return, I'll need to wade out of the river of denial and approach the graduation that lies on its shores.

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But meanwhile, I'm going to Pennwriters.

News to Share!

Because today, the first day of summer break, is not going at all according to plan (maybe it's the fall weather??), I'm posting some news today and returning to my regularly scheduled posts on Wednesday.

I'm very excited to be a part of this project, and can only imagine what Lisa and Sarah went through wrangling more than 80 contributors! I had a lot of fun writing my contributions.

If you scroll down below the cover, you can read what Lisa Hendey, one of the book's editors, has to say about this resource, and find links that will allow you to pre-order it.

The Catholic Mom's Prayer Companion For more than fifteen years, the award-winning CatholicMom.com website has been a trusted source for sound, practical, and spiritual guidance. In their new book, Lisa M. Hendey and Sarah A. Reinhard bring together more than eighty moms, dads, and trusted spiritual companions to provide fresh, uplifting meditations for every day of the year.  You can pre-order the book from: Ave Maria Press Amazon Barnes & Noble Your local Catholic bookstore Whether or not you decide to order a copy, I hope you'll check it out! See you Wednesday.